Girls, you are worthy of so much more, don’t expect anything less.

Girls, you are worthy of so much more, don’t expect anything less.

You’re in high school. You have a boyfriend.

 So do all your friends, they’ve told you how they’ve had sex, proud of it, you feel as if you’re missing out on something, because you haven’t done the deed.

You’ve kissed, you’ve been touched, and you’ve touched him. That’s it though, nothing has continued any further, because you stopped him. Now, your friend is talking about everything she’s done, you just nod, you don’t add anything, and anyway, what would you say?

And then she calls you on it. You’re a virgin.

By now others have joined your discussion, and since you are the one being ridiculed, and they are not, they join in. Your innocence is evident, you blush, you ask them to shut-up. They don’t, they keep pushing, asking when you are going to go through with it. So, in an effort to stop the chatter, you blurt out it’s happening. It’s happening soon. You have plans.

When next you see your boyfriend, he pushes just that little but further, like he always does. But this time you don’t say no. He says he’ll use a condom, but in the heat of the moment, forgets. Promises he’ll pull out, but in the heat of the moment, he forgets.

It’s okay. This one time should be okay, it’s your first time, and you won’t fall pregnant. He promises you his clean. No chance of catching anything from him. Not being sexually active, you don’t even know what diseases might be possible.

So, you’re no longer a virgin. You look in the mirror, but you don’t look any different to the day before. Will your friends notice?

When you see them next, they ask if anything happened. You say yes. They get excited, finally, you’re one of us. Funny, you don’t feel better about that. You’re now a part of that group; strangely it doesn’t change anything though. You don’t feel cool, you don’t feel part of the in-crowd, and all you are thinking is what was all the fuss about.

It had hurt and you had seen blood afterwards. After kissing you, touching you, you both had taken off your clothes. It was awkward, as you’d only known each other a few months after all. He said he loved you. You said it back.

What is love anyway?

You’ve read about it, snuck some pages in from Fifty Shades, they were in love, right? And anyway, love will grow, as the sex gets better.

After two weeks, he breaks up with you. You’re not his type, and he tells everyone that he was your first, that he took your virginity. He’s so proud of himself. You are heart broken.

Why do you want to grow up so fast?

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. The pressure is on to achieve the most likes, the most comments; take the best selfie, be the most creative, stir up some shit. Have the most friends, live the best life, and have the best boyfriend. Show the best cleavage.

What happened to having best friends, real people, who are there when you just want to hang out. Talk boys, talk girl stuff, shop together, and share each other’s clothes.

Try out hairstyles, do each others make - up. Make phone calls, late at night, chat, and plan the weekend. Walk to the local store, buy an ice cream, walk back, laughing at the world.

Instead, you want to be eighteen before your time, be treated like an adult even though you are still just a child. You know what? Enjoy being a child. The grown up life, is not all its made out to be. Enjoy your teens, enjoy the phase that fades into adulthood. You’ll never get it back.

Your body is coping with so much change, your hormones run rampant, you don’t understand. Get to know yourself, listen to your thoughts, and believe in yourself.

Boys.

Boys are there. And a boyfriend is a natural progression in life. First kisses, holding hands, someone to hug you, hold you, make you feel loved, treasured, special, and beautiful. Because if that’s not how he makes you feel, then he doesn’t deserve you.

He should make you smile, the only tears that are seen, are tears of laughter, he should make you laugh, hold your belly type of laughs. He should want you for who you are, not want to change you. And the same should be said for you, the boy you love should be a person that you value, that you respect for who they are. Love shouldn’t make you change into someone that isn’t yourself.

Wear clothes that flatter your body. Don’t reveal too much, the less you reveal the more there is to wonder about. You don’t have to be perfect, there is nothing wrong with having flaws, they give you character, they reveal something about you, the person that you are, the person that you are becoming. Your beauty will shine from within, it’s not something that you can mask or paint on.

Love your girlfriends too. The strongest women are the ones that look after each other, praise each other, and compliment each other. They don’t put each other down. They survive together.

At the end of the day, you are wholly responsible for the life you lead. Your parents are there to guide you, to support you, and while at times you think that they are so against everything you want to do, they love you.

The decisions that you make will always have a consequence. Its how you deal with that outcome that defines you, life can be a shitty thing, and it’s not always roses, rainbows and unicorns. Your heart will be broken, those that you thought of as friends, will let you down. You will let yourself down. Learn from your mistakes, become a better person.

Learn to love yourself. For how can you love someone else, if initially you don’t love yourself. Know what makes you happy, chase those dreams, and plan your future. Treat yourself with kid gloves, you are special, you deserve to be treated like that by others as well.

What I’m not saying here is to save your virginity for marriage. In this day and age, I know that is a rarity. I also am a firm believer that if you are to spend the rest of your life with someone, then it should be someone that you know everything about. Being in a relationship, and living with someone day in and day out, are two very different things. You will be surprised.

What I’m saying is, the man that does get the privilege of being your first love, should be worthy of that honor. He should have your trust, and your heart. It is something that you will remember for the rest of your life. Because then, and only then, will you realise what all the fuss is about.

You only have one life ahead of you, make it the life you want to live now, not everything will go to plan, but at the end of it all, you want to be proud of the life you’ve lived.

Always,

Jo.

Live, Laugh, Love. xx